I'm where I have never wanted to be. Single with a 5 month old. Due to reasons, that I will not discuss over the Internet, my boyfriend, of almost 3 years, and I are done. I wish I could change things. Wave some magic wand and undo what he's done.
I keep thinking, " Jesus, how did I get here? Why me, why now?"
I'm trying to be strong. Trying to figure out what will be best for my little guy and me. Do I stay here in Calgary? Do I move back home? Do I move back to Halifax? Should I live here just for my little one to be close with his Dad and chance struggling financially? Way too many questions now have to be answered.
To be honest I am pretty bummed and pissed about the whole situation. I wanted a life for my son that had his mom and dad being together. I wanted the whole Dad coming home from work and playing with his son. Family dinners, movie nights, *sigh* , just stuff I never had a chance of having growing up.
So decisions were made and one was figuring if I was staying for the man he is or the one he could be... The answer the one he could be. That being said, I'm sure things will work out. They always do. I'm a fighter and I will fight like hell to make sure my little guy is happy, healthy and doesn't go without anything.
Single mother..... not a title I ever wanted... but it's the one I ended up with.
|